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FriendshipsDifficult

That's Not What Happened

Your friend Sam is venting about a falling out with your mutual friend Jordan. Sam says Jordan ghosted her out of nowhere. Here is what you know: Sam has been saying some pretty harsh things about Jordan lately — and you were there for some of those conversations. You said nothing. At some point Sam's version of events will not quite add up. You will feel the pull to correct the timeline, point out what Sam said, or defend Jordan. The skill is staying with what Sam needs right now — even when you know more than you are saying.

You're practicing

Staying present with a friend's feelings when you have complicated information and competing impulses

Success looks like

Sam feels heard first — then receives the truth.

You can do this as many times as you want.